Desire
by leafyaki
Summary: He could not keep time in his hands, when they always left with the change of a name. Lavi/Miranda, also suitable for people looking for friendship/gen fics.


**Title**: Desire

**Pairing**: Lavi/Miranda

**Prompt**: Something I Can Never Have, by Nine Inch Nails

**Summary**: Lavi wanted to be able to stop time, while Miranda just wanted to be normal.

**Notes**: It was great to have a song as a prompt :D Hope I didn't completely screw this up! And I'm afraid the ending is not as happy as I had hoped it would be…

**Word Count**: 707 words

* * *

Junior had always been trained to keep records.

Bookman had always reminded him that he is to be impartial, and to not interfere excessively in events. We are observers, and we will write down what we see, nothing more, nothing less.

Junior did not understand.

There are heroes in every battle, and then there are the normal people, scared, cowardly people who would run away in battles to try to save their lives. But there are heroes too, who want to save other people, and then there are children, who have to see their lives being torn apart in front of their eyes, and to understand all that…don't you need to use your heart, to see all those?

Bookman never really told him about this, but always that you'll learn, you'll learn. With time, you'll learn.

Junior never really did understand, even when he was the 49th name, especially when he was the 49th name. He could not keep time in his hands, when they always left with the change of a name.

.

Miranda did not have many friends.

She was always too eager to please, always too much of a pushover, but always too clumsy, too slow to pick up games, too quick to admit to wrongdoings whenever parents press her, and so nobody really found her very cool to hang out with.

She didn't always break things, but she didn't move well, she couldn't hop on one leg through a hopscotch of numbers, her fingers were not nimble enough for marbles, her legs not quick enough for skipping. She had dolls, and she had a roof and a bed, but she did not really have any friends.

She wanted to be surrounded by friends, but she never was. She wondered if that meant she was not normal in some way, even while her parents tried to convince her that she was, tried to love her.

.

The first time they met, Lavi had to jump into the sea to save a guilt-wrecked Miranda, and he saw the secret relish on her face as she noticed that people do care, maybe because of her antics, people can care for her.

Lavi saw her relish, and she knew, because she turned away with a guilty look, ready to apologize for whatever small thing she had done. Lavi scared her, he looked too deep, he punched the window in his anger, he fought with fervour and force and did not stop looking all around him, observing.

She learnt that both he and Bookmen record the passing of time.

And she learnt that, even as others knew this, they can't help but be drawn to Lavi's brash, outspoken, friendly personality, knowing all the while that one day he could just walk away from them.

.

Lavi saw Miranda's Innocence work its magic at close hand, saw how she absorbed the injuries into an unstable, spinning, revolving record. She could control time, however she stammers on about how useless she is. It is sucked into a vacuum where, if she could hold on forever and ever, time will stand still, and nobody will have to move on.

Lavi had never yearned for something so much before.

.

When the disaster of Edo ended, they met in the cafeteria, both having escaped the confines of the infirmary and were being allowed to roam free.

Miranda was still shy, unable to speak well, having been so used to her cries of guilt that she knew not how to talk normally. Stuttering, she inquired after Lavi's injuries, trying to smile when he assured her that he was alright.

Lavi smiled at her, dreaming of the ability to make time stop, so that the future would not happen, and the past would not exist. He told jokes, making her laugh, teasing her gently, trying to keep his thoughts from the ability, trying to focus on the person, the woman in front of him.

They both wanted what the other had. Lavi knew, and Miranda knew, it's not good enough, they will hurt each other in the end, they are both too selfish. But for now, for the both of them, just to be able to dream of what the other had…it was enough.


End file.
